Wednesday, April 25, 2012

TTB...Boom!

My ticking time boob (TTB) is no longer ticking.

It sort of exploded. But not really.

Confused? Read on.

First the good news: I don't have cancer.

Now the bad news: I have "atypical" cells, a condition known as ductal carcinoma in situ. For plain folk like you and me, that's something akin to pre-cancer.

It's in the same breast that I had cancer, so radiation is not an option because it's already been irradiated (who knew you couldn't irradiate a breast twice? Not me).

I'm pretty sure chemo is not an option (Hallelujah!). At least it wasn't mentioned this morning when the nurse practitioner (NP) gave me the pathology report. Of course, I wasn't really paying attention after she said the recommended course of treatment for someone who already had the Big C was masectomy.

Huh?

Yes, indeedy-doody, I'm a gonna' have a masectomey. Maybe two. Back when I drank, a double was a good thing. Perhaps that is the case now. I'm not altogether sure, so I will talk to the doc about that option.

By the by, do you have any idea how expensive masectomy bathing suits are?! They really need to do something about that. And right after, they need to be named something else, agreed?

I meet with my surgical oncologist (who, by the way, is totally hot...don't tell Rhett I said that) on Tuesday at 7:30 a.m. (And he's sweet! Coming in early to chat with us - what a guy!) to hear all the options, but the NP said he'll want to do it as soon as possible, hopefully in about 2 weeks. Then about 4 weeks for recovery. At this point, I don't know what "recovery" means. I'm hoping I'll be able to teach out the quarter.

I can't think of anything else at this point to tell you; if I do, I'll post again. Otherwise, check back on the evening of May 1 to read the latest update.

If you're feeling like you want to do something to make me feel better, send me some jokes. Knock ones are especially good, since I can share them with BonnieBlue. Or "what do you get if you cross a _______ with a ___________?" jokes; we love those. Here's our favorite: What do you get if you cross a puppy with a computer? A lapdog!

Oh, one more thing. While I'm not terribly thrilled, I am grateful for this "adventure." I'm not sure why yet, but the Lord has commanded us to be grateful in all things (Eph. 5:20, Mosiah 26:39), and I figure I ought to do my best at obeying since I really have so much else in my life to be grateful for.

Many thanks to you wonderful folks who make me feel better just knowing I am not alone at this time. God bless you all!

6 comments:

  1. Okay, let me be the first to post. The "Barbie" doll has been in the news alot lately. So I thought I would post the following item. BTW: this was written (or submitted) by a survivor.

    Finally! Barbie Dolls we can relate to....

    1) Hot Flash Barbie.
    Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face
    turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.

    2) Post-menopausal Barbie.
    This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things and cries a lot.
    (May be marketed as "Chemo-Brain Barbie" in some areas) She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch, watching the tube and channel
    surfing. Comes with Depends, kleenex and small bottle of ginseng.

    3) Bi-focals Barbie.
    Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion
    frames in six wild colors (half-frames too for that teacher look!),neck chain and large-print edition of Martha Stewart Living.

    6) Divorced Barbie.
    Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house,
    Ken's car and Ken's boat.

    7) Mastectomy Barbie.
    Comes with 1/2 of Barbie's famous pointy
    bosoms, prosthesis and plastic stick-on scars for that post-surgery look.

    *****Sending positive thoughts your way . . . . Scarlet!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, I am happy and sad at the same time. But I know you can weather this with as much style and grace as you weathered the last storm.

    Okay, here are a couple I heard kids telling in the bathroom the other day (LOL). Let's see if I can remember them....

    What do you get when you cross a.....

    Oh, crap. I can't remember. I'll ask E. in the morning and come back! My brain is so feeble.

    Love you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Favorite Sister In LawApril 26, 2012 at 12:13 PM

    I know we emailed about this last night, but you know that we're here if you need anything (in addition to knock knock jokes). It stinks that it's happening but you will get through this. And then we'll go to Belgrade's for chicken.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't think I will be grateful for my cancer. I'm glad you are trying to see the positive. I have had fun reading your blog. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Life can and will go on without boobs. My mother lost both of her breasts to cancer many, many years ago and she just turned 91! She has loved not having to wear a bra. On the positive side, if you play golf (and if you don't, you should totally take it up), you will be able to swing better without having to swing over/around/through your boobs. Just sayin'. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete

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