Saturday, February 11, 2012

I am sad; I am happy

We are almost halfway through February, and I have not had a chance to sew anything except a hole in BonnieBlue's jeans. I am sad.

I was able to sew a hole in BonnieBlue's jeans. I am happy.

I have not lost an ounce of weight since January 1. I am sad.

I have not had a diet coke since January 9. I am happy.

I have exercised only 3 times since January 1. I am sad.

I walked 30 minutes yesterday. I am happy.

That little exercise above alludes to bi-polar, but it's it's really just depression I tend towards. Thus far, I am able to control the tendency with exercise and good eating habits. When I do sink into a depressive state, it usually lasts no more than a day or two. This is a blessing. There are those whose depression is far worse and far more dangerous for them. I am so very lucky.

About 7 or 8 months ago, my sister-in-law posted on her FB status a blog link about by a woman who went out shopping, and right before she left, her husband warned her not to buy any more towels. So, she bought a giant metal chicken. This blogger goes by the moniker, The Bloggess. After linking back to her blog and staying up that night reading her archived posts, I became a fan.

I struggle with this. The Bloggess (a.k.a. Jenny Lawson) uses a lot of swear words in her blogs. A lot. And the choicest ones. As an adherent to a faith that eschews swearing (don't most faiths, now that I think about it?), I felt guilty about reading her. In general, our leaders encourage us to enjoy only media that is uplifting,  including movies, t.v., music, and Internet sites. I'm generally tolerant about swearing, except taking the name of God in vain (hey, that one is a commandment, so I thought I best not be wishy washy on that one), but there it was, the guilt.

Then, a little over a month ago, I read this entry. I am touched by mental illness, my own, my sisters', a dear friend's son, my deceased sister-in-law whose death is related to her mental illnes, my deceased brother-in-law whom I never met because he died in prison on death row because of a killing spree...the list goes on. So I read this post with great interest. It wasn't the first time she wrote about her depression. But I think it was the first one in depth.

It uplifted me.

I recommend her blog. Just beware the swearing.

1 comment:

  1. I know how you feel. I haven't lost an ounce since Dec. 24. BUT, I haven't really gained since then, either....and I've been completely off my diet. So, I guess I should feel good about that. I also am not exercising as regularly as I should. Oh well! Sorry you have been suffering. Glad you are feeling better. I read her post. Wow. Tough stuff. And by the way, I have no idea how to repair a hole in Elsa's jeans, other than to iron a patch on it (which then falls off). So, You should teach me! :-) Hang in there!


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