Monday, May 9, 2011

Mother's Day

Yesterday was a monumental day. Since 1981, I have not gotten along well with Mother's Day. That was the year after my mom died. Then things heated up in my passionate dislike of the day in 2000, the year of the first of my two miscarriages and the realization that I would likely never have children.

Mother's Day in the LDS church is a special kind of torture. Sure, some people are sympathetic to the plight of women who are single and not mothers and those married women struggling with infertility, but the PYTs are generally not...this deserves a tangent...

PYT stands for pretty young things, the term I use to refer to young mothers in our ward. You see, our church encourages young people to marry, which makes sense if you think about the kind of "immoral" trouble that can happen in a person's 20s and frankly, since I was not a member of the church in my 20s, I can personally attest to those troubles. Anyway, many of the mothers of young children in our church are themselves rather young, too young to experience the throes of infertility; they pop 'em out one after the other (and by the way, usually don't look pregnant from behind and lose their baby weight in a month--or less, and have better bodies after 5 kids than most women at 16, etc. etc.) There are a few exceptions to this generalization, of course, and they naturally are sensitive to the issue of child-less-ness. But generally, the PYTs, of which a substantial number of the ward members are, and most of the men are not cognizant of the few women in the ward who suffer through Mother's Day instead of enjoy it, so you end up hearing a lot about the joys of being a mother, the blessings of children, etc. etc. even more so on this lovely May Sunday dedicated to the female co-procreator.

So, I hated Mother's Day for 27 long years.

Until BonnieBlue came along, of course. Four years ago, I began not hating Mother's Day.

Now, don't get me wrong, I know it's a weird day. And yes, everyday is Mother's Day for me now.

Yesterday, though, was the first day I got to actually hold in my hand an object created for me especially in honor of this government-issued holiday and that object was created out of love from the only person who calls me 'Mom,' and she made it especially because her dad told her to and helped her to. That was key. It meant a great deal to me that Rhett fostered it, because I wasn't sure he was ever going to get that it was his responsibility to help BonnieBlue understand that there is one day a year that she has to go overboard for Mom and do and be a daughter in a ridiculous manner. 4 years went by with cards and such, but this year, he got it. My dear, dear hubby got it.

I understand that I have an astute woman at his job to thank for this.  You know who you are, CG. Thanks!

Isn't it THE most beautiful flower pot you have ever seen!


  1. Yes, it most surely is! I got a handmade bird feeder she made at school. I love your story about PYTs. So true! I wonder if they will ever get it?


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